Looking in the Mirror and Staying the Course ( Jason Ribbing, LPC )

James uses the image of a mirror to warn us about spiritual forgetfulness:

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.—James 1:23–24 NIV

Imagine looking into a mirror and noticing dirt on your face, food in your teeth, or something else that needs to be fixed. You clearly see the problem, but instead of doing anything about it, you walk away. Looking in the mirror did not help you because you did not respond to what you saw. James teaches us that hearing God’s Word works the same way. Reading Scripture, listening to a sermon, or recognizing an area in which we need to grow is only the beginning. Lasting spiritual transformation requires us to act on what we have learned. True faith is not passive.

One of the most difficult parts of becoming a more honest and authentic version of ourselves is being willing to look in the mirror and get real with the person looking back.

What do I see that needs to change? What am I avoiding? What do I already know I need to do but continue putting off?

We often talk about making the necessary revisions to become closer to the person God created us to be. However, recognizing the need for change is much easier than doing the daily work required to make that change. It is like seeing the check-engine light come on in your car. You know something needs attention. You know ignoring it could eventually create a much larger problem. But dealing with it may cost money, time, or inconvenience.

Sometimes, we would rather put a piece of tape over the light. Covering the warning does not fix the engine. It only allows us to avoid looking at the problem.

We do something similar in our personal lives. We distract ourselves, blame other people, minimize the issue, or convince ourselves that we will deal with it later. We may even pray for change while continuing to avoid the actions that change requires.

But growth begins when we are willing to see ourselves clearly and respond honestly.

A question I often discuss with clients is the difference between wanting to and needing to. What we need to do to grow is often not what we want to do in the moment.

We may need to have an uncomfortable conversation, set a boundary, apologize, change a habit, ask for help, forgive someone, or remain consistent when we feel discouraged. We understand that these actions are necessary, but we wait around hoping that we will eventually feel like doing them. Unfortunately, the desire to do difficult things does not always come first. Sometimes action comes before motivation.

We begin doing what is necessary, even when we do not want to, and the motivation follows later. Waiting until we feel completely ready can keep us stuck for years.

Scripture repeatedly reminds us that growth takes place through action, endurance, and continued faithfulness.

Paul writes:

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.—Romans 5:3–4 NIV

This passage does not tell us that suffering feels good. It teaches us that suffering can produce something good.

Hardship develops perseverance. Perseverance strengthens character. Proven character produces hope.

Biblical hope is not wishful thinking. It is the confident belief that God is still working, even when we cannot yet see the outcome.

James gives a similar message:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.—James 1:2–4 NIV

Most of us would not naturally describe hardship as joyful. Trials are painful, exhausting, and often confusing. We may not enjoy what we are experiencing, but we can recognize that the experience has the potential to shape us. We are not supposed to enjoy the struggle itself. We can learn to appreciate the person who comes out on the other side of it. We are not supposed to like the suck. We are meant to value the person who comes out of the other side of the suck tunnel. That person may be stronger, wiser, more patient, more compassionate, and more dependent upon God. The struggle may reveal weaknesses that need attention, but it can also uncover strength that we did not know we had.

When we are in difficult seasons, it is easy to believe that the world is against us. We can view every hardship as unfair and use it as a reason to stop trying. We can allow the difficulty to become an excuse for not hitting the mark. Or we can choose to see the struggle as an opportunity to become stronger. That does not mean pretending that everything is fine. It does not mean denying pain, avoiding grief, or acting as though Christians should never struggle. It means believing that pain does not have to be pointless. God can use difficult circumstances to refine us, strengthen our faith, and prepare us for what comes next.

However, we were not created to endure every struggle alone. Faith involves leaning into God, but it can also involve leaning on the support system He has placed around us.

Trusted friends, family members, pastors, counselors, and other supportive people can help us remain grounded when our own strength is running low. Asking for help is not a sign of weak faith. Sometimes, asking for help is an act of faith because it requires us to admit that we cannot do everything on our own.

Galatians gives us this encouragement:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.—Galatians 6:9 NIV

This verse reminds us to stay the course. We live in a culture built around instant gratification. We want results quickly, with as little discomfort as possible. We want the shortest route between where we are and where we want to be. When change does not happen quickly enough, we lose motivation. We begin to believe that our effort is not working, so we stop doing the very things that could eventually produce the result we want. But meaningful growth rarely happens through one dramatic action.

Life is built through small, repeated deposits.

We make deposits into our relationship with God. We make deposits into our marriages, friendships, families, careers, health, and emotional well-being. Most of those deposits feel small when we make them, but they accumulate over time.

The problem is that we often want to make one huge deposit, see an immediate result, and then let off the gas pedal. We wait until the tank is empty again before making another effort. Real change requires consistency.

One honest conversation may not repair a relationship, but it can be a deposit.

One healthy decision may not transform your life, but it can be a deposit.

One prayer, one boundary, one counseling session, one apology, or one act of obedience may not produce an immediate harvest. But every positive step moves the scale a little farther in the right direction.

Keep doing the positive things, even when the results are not yet visible.

Keep showing up.

Keep making the deposits.

Keep responding to what God shows you in the mirror.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is continued movement toward maturity, honesty, and faithfulness. When the process becomes painful, discouraging, or exhausting, remind yourself:

Somehow, someway, I will outlast this.

You may not control how long the difficult season lasts, but you can decide how you will walk through it. You can cover the warning light and continue pretending that nothing is wrong, or you can courageously address what needs attention. You can wait until you feel like changing, or you can begin doing what you know is necessary.

You can give up because the harvest has not arrived, or you can trust God, lean on your support system, and continue making small deposits.

Look honestly into the mirror. Listen to what God is showing you. Then take the next faithful step.

The work may be difficult, but the person emerging on the other side is worth it.